Dick in da booty

dick in da booty

Men do not realize or appreciate that getting ready for sex is a whole premeditated thing for us that requires preparation and limitless patience. My eyebrows wash off in the shower and this is the first time my underwear has matched all week. Then I go buck wild with Mach 3 razors on the rest of my body, stopping myself just below the neck before things get out of control and I accidentally shave my head in a hair-hating rage spiral. But we're not there yet, and I have to go get some extra downward-dog stretches in before he gets here. We've gone on two dates and hooked up once, so Big Hot is still acquainted with the exfoliated and hairless me that exists only in the early stages of dating and penetration. I will never be one of those girls who writes angry think pieces about the taboo of female pubes while braiding her armpit hair.

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I made a quick dash to the bathroom, knowing I had only about four minutes to make a transformation worthy of "RuPaul's Drag Race.

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For the sake of anonymity, we'll call this guy Big Hot, because he's really tall and really hot. Where… Where are your…?!?! I'm talking floss, mouthwash, and those little miniature Colgate toothbrush things you can find at Duane Reade.

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Comments

  • Quinn 2 days ago

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  • Emory 18 days ago

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  • Ari 20 days ago

    I've always thought that's her real was

  • Alfonso 7 days ago

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  • Kolton 28 days ago

    that ending lol